Dear BP

Dear BP,
Allow me to be forthright in sending my sincerest apology to you and yours. I’m am so deeply sorry that we, the U.S., have once again been so clumsy and frankly, brash in our decision to put our coastal territory so close to your great big natural disaster. It’s a real shame when Continents have to get in the way of Negligence. Nay, but we are the negligent ones! If only we had thought a little harder and not placed so much of our coast line near your crap derricks, we wouldn’t be sitting here with Pelican Egg on our faces. If I may be metaphoric: right now, so many of us are feeling just like little shrimp covered in a deep, black shame for what we’re doing to you. Maybe it’s not the best metaphor, but you see our anguish.
However we can help to make this right, please let us know. Your costs must be enormous, not even to mention the mental anguish you must be suffering just seeing all of your profits just washing up on our beaches. We are here for you, you are not alone in this.
Our Apologies.

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