Sea of Contrition
Dear BP,
Thanks again for inviting me to the yachting excursion this last weekend. I’m so very sorry I ate up all of your delicious shrimp during the preliminary revelry on Friday. The staff did indicate it was the last of the Gulf shrimp but I didn’t realize that it would be the last of the Gulf shrimp in my lifetime. Jumbo mea culpa on that score. Fabulous cocktail sauce, BTW!
Saturday was certainly the high point, breezing ‘round the Isle of Wight in your yacht “Bob.” I must apologize again for turning the main cabin into something of a vomitorium. A confluence of high seas and Frutti di Mare apparently got the better of me. Your crack crew seemed to be making progress with the cleanup, though I did detect a hint of acerbity in their demeanor. Too bad about the 4th place finish but that’s just wind power for you, so fickle. Still, it must have been a bit of a blow to someone whose name is virtually synonymous with second best. C’est tres domage.
So-o-o sorry about using up the last rolls of toilet paper on Sunday, too. All that rich food and Dom Pérignon gushed through me quite uncontrollably. Fortunately that snappy green pennant of yours proved to be an excellent substitute. Any port in a storm, as they say. It wasn’t nearly as stain resistant as I had hoped, though. Since the staff are still preoccupied with sanitizing the cabin, I suggest that you replace it rather than having it laundered. May I recommend: http://www.newtonnewtonflags.com/corporate-flag-bp.htm
Deeply sorry for any inconvenience. Please do convey my contrition to the small people, just to pour a little oil on troubled waters (as it were).
-Ta ta ‘till next year!!
