You should submit your apology to BP. You can submit videos, photos, quotes, whatever you want, as long as you apologize for the thing you did to BP. Did you eat all BP's cheetos? Did you forget to fill up their tank the last time you borrowed their car? Let it all out. Make amends. Say you are sorry.
Rep. Joe Burton is right. BP deserves better than the horrible treatment they've gotten from America. The GOP is ashamed of America, and you should be to. All BP did was try to bring us delicious crude oil with which we could drive our SUVs. They made tremendous sacrifices. And what did they get out of the deal? Just a little profit, which they could now LOSE thanks to mean America holding them accountable. This year they could make over 25% less billions in profits, thanks to America's socialist agenda.
The best America is one that privatizes profits and socializes losses. So Apologize to BP.
Background and logo courtesy of @ImSorryBP. Other things you should read so you can think about what you didJoe Barton Would Like to Apologize
We want to apologize to BP for having one less place people can apologize to them. We’re shutting down our tumblr blog and moving all apologizing directly to facebook.
So head over to http://facebook.com/imsorrybp to do all the apologizing you like.
Apologies and stuff.
As I look back upon the past 11 months, I realize that I have a lot to be sorry for.
I was completely absorbed by how this oil spill was going to affect the coastal residents (both human and wildlife/animal) and future generations.
I humbly beg your forgiveness for the following faux pas:
1. Little did I realize that lying down on the oily beach would save me a lot of time applying sunscreen and/or tanning oil. It also saved me a lot of money. No need to buy Coppertone anymore when you can get “BPTone” for free!
2. Another time-saving result of this little “oopsie” — let’s not call it the biggest man-made ecological disaster of all time — that is too wordy. ”Oopsie” just about says it all! Now, all my seafood comes pre-oiled and already marinated in that wonderful Corexit compound. More savings here…I don’t have to spray my pans anymore with “PAM”, and Corexit adds just the right amount of flavor to otherwise drab seafood. How could I not appreciate that?
3. I’m sorry that I have this problem with the tendons in both hands that make my middle fingers fly up when I pass one of your gas stations. I’m really sorry…not only do I have this problem, but the insurance to surgically correct this condition is so expensive, I cannot afford it. I guess it’s something I will have to live with for the rest of my life.
As I close this letter, dearest BP, I hope that you can see it in your heart to forgive me.
Obviously, emotions got the better of me. I will not let it happen again.
Humbly submitted —
nancestef
My fishing charter business is really doing well because all those well financed folks who used to fish in the northern Gulf are now here fishing with me. My days are a little bit longer and a little bit tougher now because a couple of thousand extra customers a day is quite a load. But really, what you did to lower gulf property values and poison the air and the water while establishing a willing and starving work force is good for me because deck hands usually expect to be paid but if they’ve worked for you in the past, they’ll already be used to recieving excuses instead of checks.
It’s too bad that the general public only sees the dark side of an oil slick. So Sorry.
Captain Wayne
I’m sorry, BP, that I brought safety equipment and resperators to work cleanup even after you told me not to. My bad.
Submitted by Aaron on our Facebook Page.
Dear BP,
Allow me to be forthright in sending my sincerest apology to you and yours. I’m am so deeply sorry that we, the U.S., have once again been so clumsy and frankly, brash in our decision to put our coastal territory so close to your great big natural disaster. It’s a real shame when Continents have to get in the way of Negligence. Nay, but we are the negligent ones! If only we had thought a little harder and not placed so much of our coast line near your crap derricks, we wouldn’t be sitting here with Pelican Egg on our faces. If I may be metaphoric: right now, so many of us are feeling just like little shrimp covered in a deep, black shame for what we’re doing to you. Maybe it’s not the best metaphor, but you see our anguish.
However we can help to make this right, please let us know. Your costs must be enormous, not even to mention the mental anguish you must be suffering just seeing all of your profits just washing up on our beaches. We are here for you, you are not alone in this.
Our Apologies.
Submitted by McGair
Editors Note: This one is a doozy, its loooong. So make sure to click Read More to read the whole thing.
We didn’t mean to inflict this little boo boo on you. I mean, I know $20 billion is just a tiny drop of your blood and all, but it was just so not thoughtful of us to take ANY of your blood. After all, we prefer to swim in oil, so we should be grateful to you for opening up the tap like you did and just letting it pour out for all of us to enjoy.
Hey, BP, my parakeet wanted me to tell you he’s really sorry his great great great etc. great grandparents, who were dinosaurs, were thoughtless enough to die and turn into oil. If they’d been more responsible none of this would have happened. I have scolded my parakeet for his ancestors’ behavior and sent him to his room without supper, and he’s going to save up $20 billion from his allowance and give it to you.
Submitted by Rich
I deeply regret biking.
I wish I had driven and used BP brand gasoline so that you and your executives wouldn’t have to sacrifice your hard-earned bonuses in order to pay struggling fishermen.
Submitted by SteveR
BP, When I said I wanted you to rot in hell for all eternity, I really meant I wanted you to burn in hell for all eternity. I deeply apologize for the confusion.
Submitted by Rich
